Fuck, the pill hits me like a punch to the face. One second you're normal just waiting, and then it hits you in the head. I love it, swallowing has never been my favorite way to imbibe my drugs, I'd rather hit a vein or fuck up my nose, but I'll take it anyway I can. I've been thinking about that more and more, I realized that my choice of drugs is anything that hits me hard and fast, that is a real drug, not weed or E or dumb shit like that. I figured that if we were planning on picking up some shit in the city, if there is no smack in site, plan b would be getting speed (amphetamines or meth). I've never done speed, but I'd rather that than buying weed. Also, I do like psychedelics, but there not my average cup of tea. Psychedelics are for a rainy afternoon, evening, night, and then morning (possibly into the mid-afternoon, if it hasn't worn off yet, haha). When I took a nap today, I was asleep for about 10 minutes, I had a dream that my parents knew about my drug use, they kinda made fun of me for it.
Today school was boring as hell. I thought I was going to fall asleep in almost every class. I gave Zach and this kid Stephen rides home. I didn't realize that Stephen lived on the complete other side of town from Zach and me. So, it was a bit of an adventure, I almost hit a garbage can and I almost killed all of us, but it was fun. Zach is kind of an asshole, also a bit of a bigot. He was complaining about kids in his old school wearing confederate flags, but he's calling Stephen a fag after Stephen gets out, and then is talking about how he hates only poor and dumb black people. I wanted to say to him, "WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?" I'm not against anyone, and I'm definitely not a bigot. The thing is Zach and I share the same feelings about preppy shit heads and the like, so we can make fun of them. My other friends get all pissed off and offended when I say things about them, they say, "what's wrong with you?" Zach and I blast "Search and Destroy" in front of the school, with the sunroof open and us hysterically laughing. Zach and I are like two peas in a pod, so I don't know how to feel about him being so wrong. I don't have a crush on Zach though, I like Anthony so much more. Anthony is so sweet, we pack up microphone sets together and we just stand beside one another and I juste feel protected. Anthony and I laid on the floor on friday and watched that 70s show, it was cute. We're very awkward and teenager-esque. It's problematic, in some ways, I need to get him to relax, he'll barely sit right next to me when he comes over. It's kind of endearing and kind of annoying, haha, oh high school. I brought in records today to get them digitized in the school radio station. The Necros "Tangled Up," Blanks 77 "Up the System," and a record of the Teen Idles, State of Alert, Youth Brigade, and fuck I forgot the other band. The best thing is that it has little Ian Mckay's first band the Teen Idles, and little Henry Garfield's (now Rollins') first band State of Alert. They're both so adorable on their pictures, I want to eat them up.
I should be doing European History homework, so now I'll do that. I'm watching "The Secret Life of the American Teenager," which is such a dumb show, but kind of entertaining. = )
4 comments:
I take it tylenol is some dihydrocodeine type thing..?
Abscence of your favourite thing...
you're not on methadone then? My advice: if you can do without methadone, avoid it. For one thing it makes your habit SO MUCH WORSE, seriously
I had a bad headache/nausea/chills/vomiting last night it was a slight case of cotton fever. I've had cotton fever full on before, thankfully this was far milder. I still feel all exhausted and washed out...
Basically I found a crusty old gear spoon in my old toaster, extracted it and banged up the contents. I didn't post this on my blog as I can't handle the comment's i'd get today...
Take care there!
;->...
I know exactly how you feel, not wanting to get your friend caught up in the shit but hoping beyond hope that she'll do it anyway. It gives us an easy out in case anything happens, that way we can say, well I told her not to do it. It's a junky thing, it doesn't mean you don't care, it means that your cravings are doing your thinking for you. HAHA do I ever know that feeling. I can't really lecture you on speed because I am in no position to lecture anyone right now. I should tell you it's wrong and all that shit but you already know that, just be careful. I grew up in a town where the racist rednecks were only outnumbered by the blacks and mexicans, it made for an interesting mix. I had alot of bigot-type friends but I figured out early on that I wasn't prejudiced, I hated all races/people equally. If you can find the blanks 77/submachine split 7" buy it, it kicks serious ass!
Gledwood,
Tylenol is codeine. I know a few people who use it occaisonally and think they are junkies, lets just say that I try to hold back my laughter. I love your blog, I just hate being like the only junky commenting so everything that comes out is "oh yeah, that's blah blah blah. I've done that too blah blah blah." Everyone else is like, "OH MY GOD! Glenwood, you should go out for a run, it will make you feel better!" I don't have that shock, and I feel like that's the expected reply. They are all really sweet, but sometimes I want to tell them that you know what you're doing. If anything, you probably think about that more than most other things, and you've thought it all through. Everyone who is like us thinks about. Yeah, naw, if I do ever decide to quit full on forever than I would try that, or sub or some other maintenance plan, but definitely not now. When I used to shoot and had nothing, I'd use old cottons. It's a bad idea, just because of all the germs in it, but when you need a hit, you need a hit.
Melody,
My friend just digitized my vinyl of Up the System by Blanks 77 (it's a green 10"), it's so good. They're from NJ, too! Haha, lots of good punk bands come from my state. Yeah, Tanzen wants to get into it, which she's said to me since before I got started, so that's not my fault. The question really is really do I get her into it. Is that really right? The only thing I do know is that, if you want something enough, you're bound to get into it. I told Zach that it pisses me off, my friend Jacob thinks that once he gets his ass kicked once, he'll shut up.
Thanks both of you! It puts a smile on my face to see that someone actually commented. = )
Haha, we're blog mates now, you'll be lucky to get rid of me.
I shared alot of drugs with alot of people, justifying it by thinking it was better with me because at least I would look after them(I can justify anything if you give me enough time:).
There IS sound reasoning behind that, I have NEVER let one of my friends die because I was worried about myself and I have lost countless friends because they were among aquaintances who couldn't see past saving their own asses.It's a double edged sword. If you are like me, when you find something you think is amazing (like heroin) you want to share it with your friends. I never wanted them to get sprung, I just wanted them to feel as lovly as I did. I learned all too fast that it goes hand in hand. You can't control the way things turn out and I remember being young and telling people, "I swear, I'll only do this with you, I woundn't even know where to get it if I wanted to." That was with speed but the same principals apply, it took seconds to do just what I said I wouldn't. So keep all that in mind because a friend will promise you anything when they are determined to get high and your concern is the only thing standing in thier way.
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