What I See

My leg twitched inside it's shell. I stared at the screen. I've been thinking over a few weird moments, which I haven't said anything about:

1.) The homeless guy (possible junky) in Tompkins who walked past me. I looked at him and he stared directly into my eyes as he walked past me. I don't know what to think about it, I figure he was just sizing me up. Trying to figure out what I was and where I would fit in if I was going to be joining the unwashed masses of the park.

2.) "Yeah, it's all in with dealing with sobriety." My new thought is that Ashley can actually read my thoughts. We were talking in gym class about our weekends, I'm saying how I feel like shit, etc.. Nothing about the state of my drug use and suddenly she's bringing up my sobriety (which is going like shit, because it's going to be ended tomorrow or thursday). Cool kid and doesn't seem to care that I'm a needle using junky (then again, she's in a drug addict in a group home, probably doesn't feel she has room to preach).

3.) He stared at me like I had just insulted his mother. This guy at the Reagan Youth show kept giving me dirty looks the entire night. I was the only one with my mohawk up, and I wonder if it was that (sad but true). I figure if you're at a hardcore show, you should at least have the balls to say something to me instead of just shooting me dirty looks.

There are other things that I don't feel like bringing up... School's okay at the moment. I got two tests back: 90 and a 93, so two As is always good. Along with a few homeworks that got check pluses and "excellent"s (I said I was a good student, = ). I still haven't talked to my calculus teacher about missing his class. I hope that he doesn't yell at me, not that it would really bother me. I've realized that I don't give a crap about that class, I hate it, he makes it horrible. I enjoy math and he makes it unnecessarily hateful.

I'm wondering what's going on with my leg and if I can see about getting some medical dope for it. It won't be easy, just because of my arthritis (ironic isn't it). All parts of my right leg hurt, my knee is all swollen, sharp pains are running up and down my calf and foot. My doctor will probably just shrug it off as always, he's one of the leading doctor's in the world, so I have to trust him.

The TV flashes with "The Cleaner." Guess what? It's a show about drug interventionists and it focused tonight on a girl with the name of Sarah who had a problem with dope. It's not a reality show, so it's more fun. I really do enjoy it. There's this one guy Swenton, who reminds me of me. It makes it uncomfortable, because we're so similar.

Well, off to bed and another day of school... let's not say that I hate my life, just the things that I have to do in it.

- Lucy = )

BTW, two quotes: 

"I don't do drugs. I am drugs." - Dali

"Life's a bitch, but one day it's going to be my bitch." - My friend Nora