I'm Waiting for the Man

Saturday Morning:

I'm going into the city in two and a half hours. At the moment, I'm all dumb and in love. Haha, oh my god, that's all I can say. I'm feeling very girly right now, so you'll have to excuse all the dumb shit I may say today... I just can't help it! = )

So, yeah, Anthony and I... omg, I really do think I love him. I know, I know, I sound like every 17 year old, okay, but here's the thing: I've made sure never to say that unless I really believed it, and so I never have. I know that lots of teenagers say it to whoever they date, but not I. He is amazing. We couldn't hang out yesterday and so as I'm driving by where he's standing a block away from the school I pull over. His mother calls, which basically results on him shouting into his phone. I really thought he was going to smash it, he was so pissed off at her. Anyway, she was being a bitch and not letting him come over to my house. So, I made the decision to go with him to the radio station. We hung out with everyone, which involved fixing a mixing board for a good two hours and just generally hanging around. Then, around 4:45 he realized that he had his radio show that day. What the fuck? I thought it was starting next week. Hold on, let me call my parents. "Anthony, this is really good then we can hang until 7." So, I became his radio assistant, he allowed me to pick some songs and he picked some of my favorites:

-The Passenger - Iggy

-Cretin Hop - Ramones

-Beat My Guest - Adam and the Ants

-Drive My Car - The Beatles

-Search and Destroy - Iggy

and more. He looked so in control, flicking the switches shuffling through PSAs and Promos that he had to do. Whenever he had to go on air he would get all nervous and stutter a little, but it was cute. And then when we finally had to leave, he kissed me and then gave me a hug. Haha, omg, I really do love him. Holy FUCK!!! Haha, I wish he was here right now. That's the only thing I can think when he's not around. I was thinking about it in the studio how I would get clean for Anthony, I really would. I've been really dumb and been listening to my favorite dumb love songs. Yes, I am a girl, I am 17, and yes I do have a playlist of all of my favorite dumb love songs. Oh, Anthony... Damn, I wish he was here. = )

The city will be fun today. We're going to go book shopping, one for my dad, a few for me. Tanzen wants to buy a bong (after 3 months of planning on it). So, it shall be an interesting day. My house is freezing at the moment, so I hope outside isn't as cold. My dad turned off the AC (Iuppiter!), but no heat so I woke up and was like Oh my god... why is it so cold? This feels like December. Even with the heat on our house is freezing in December and January. I figure I'll wear my Misfits shirt, my a pair of jeans, my docs, probably my main jacket

Sunday night:

The story of the rest of saturday is pretty long, but I'll try to sum it up as best I can. Tanzen and I met at Union Square. We went to Strand and bought some books about junkies (I had a list of books that I wanted). Afterwards we went to lunch at this place called Moonstruck on 3rd Ave and East 5th Street. Her friend Sean meets us, who wants to go cop weed uptown. He can't remember the name he gave the dealers on his phone, so as we eat he sorts that out. The guy he thinks is the best is not picking up and not returning the texts he keeps sending from Tanzen's phone. Finally he decides we'll just go meet the other guy, who apparently skimps on the amounts. As we're walking towards the subway the guy he really calls Sean. He almost began to dance in the middle of the sidewalk as he answered the phone. We hopped on the subway (I loudly protested going to get the wed, stoners in general, and me having to pay money for the subway). They both coughed up money for me riding the subway (if you're going to drag me to cop drugs than you're going to pay for the subway ride... haha). We get into Grand Central Station and we walk out of the terminal. After Tanzen goes to pee and we find a way out, we begin to walk over. My boot begins to hurt my leg, it's pinching the tendon on the side of my leg. So, we continue on, I stop every few steps and rub my leg or express the pain that feels like a hot knife being shoved into my leg. When we reach where we're supposed to meet the guy we don't see him. He calls Sean and tells him to meet him up a street. I sit on the scaffolding that happens to be there. This fat half-Japanese, half-white kid walks up. He has black ringlets sprouting under a backwards baseball cap. His body is covered in a black sweatshirt with a dragon embroidered on the back. Two goons, who happen to be his friends, just walk up the block past us. I had a feeling that they were most likely muscle, just the way they appeared. Tanzen and I stand on the corner as Sean and Tommy (the dealer) walk down the street and exchange green for green. Sean meets up with us and Tommy continues strolling down the street, his friends have walked up the street past where we had all stopped. As quickly as the deal had gone down, we now walked down the streets at a clip. After some persuasion I decided to stay the night in Brooklyn with Tanzen and get "smoked up." Tommy keeps calling Sean, so Sean refuses to pick up because he isn't really excited about the news. After we get about 5 blocks away he finally picks up one of the calls. Apparently he owes another $10 or some of the weed. Sean isn't sure whether to split or meet up with Tommy. Our vote decision is: RUN! Haha, we begin to jog pretty quickly down the streets towards Grand Central, which of course is where the expect us. Tommy is right in front of us suddenly and him and Sean walk down the street. Tanzen and I stand around the corner in front of a glass storefront. We can't see what's going on, but our first instinct is to see if Sean is getting beat up. Suddenly, Tanzen and I scurry behind them and sit beside them as Tommy takes some of the weed. Sean and Tommy slap hands in a "everything is cool" kinda way and we walk off.

Sean needs to go weigh out the weed to divide it up equally between him and Tanzen, so we have to go to his house. Instead of all of us getting out of the subway and having to pay again, Tanzen and I sit on a bench in the subway and I read to her from a book called "Beam Me Up, Scotty." It's about a crackhead, and it's amazing! I love this book, I was worried I would hate it because it was about crack, but it's actually really good. It's also about him getting sober. It's set on the LES, so I know everywhere that they keep talking about. I like that because most books are about places I've never been to, but this is somewhere I have my own thoughts about everywhere he's running. Anyway, after a half an hour Sean reappears and we get back on the subway and walk to Tanzen's house. Sean takes a cigarella he has, he takes the brown paper from the outside and uses it to rap up this giant blunt. As we sit in Tanzen's house, Tanzen and I have to breathe on the paper to keep it moist. 

Finally, we get out of there and walk over to Prospect Park to meet up with Sean's friend Jacob. After meeting up with Jacob, one of those moments where you shake hands are told each other's names and think to yourself "this information will never help me, but I'll take it anyway." We wait for another 3o minutes until we can go to his other friend Nahim's house, which is right down the street. We have to sneak down behind his house through this alleyway and into the back of his basement. After about 5 minutes of us just waiting there Nahim appears. We smoke it all and the 3 foot by 7 foot room is filled with white smoke. This is supposed to be purple kush, which should be impressive or something but does nothing to me (I think someone got ripped off... haha). Sean decides he needs a piss, so Nahim leads him out of the tiny room into the unlight and stuff filled basement to the bathroom. Suddenly there is a lot of loud banging and Nahim yells out to us to get out here. Sean is unable to stand, he is hitting everything. My first thought, being a lovely young junkie, is Fuck this, I barely know the guy, Tanzen and I can leave him here for Nahim to deal with it. That's what I honestly thought. Nahim is trying to shepard him out of the basement but he is almost unable to stand. Suddenly you see him stiffen up and fall head first into a pile of tools. The most amazing face plant I have ever seen. He looked dead. After we clamber out and drag Sean out of the basement, Tanzen took his right side and I took his left and we brought him back on to the sidewalk. We had to keep telling him to walk and he kept complaining that he wanted to sit down. Finally, we sat him down on a bus terminal bench and we all began to stare at this giant poster of Janice Dickinson's show, it was extremely puzzling. I analyzed it for what seemed like 10 minutes. Sean was now able to walk, so we brought him to where we usually met up with him and almost ran back to Tanzen's house for dinner.

Dinner was hard because I was high and I had to make sure to act normal and look people in the eye and say normal things. I thought I was going to die. Anyway, after that we played cards until Saturday night came on, and after 10 minute I began to nod out (that's what it felt like, haha, it was nutty, I smoked way too much) and so Tanzen and I headed up to bed at 12.

The next morning we talked about shit, read some more of the book, discussed the night before. She is very very disapproving of my continued desire for an H dealer in the city (hah, we're calling it Mission H). I guess that's not surprising. On the ride home I listened to the Velvet Underground until I finally was home. I worked on the common app and did homework.

A few questions still remain:

1. What else was Sean on, which caused him to literally just fall to the ground? I have never seen someone that fucked up on weed before. To me it looked like someone who had taken too much smack. He wasn't in the bathroom for him to have done that though. I don't know what it was, but it was fucking obnoxious as shit.

2. Will I ever actually get around to seriously trying to score? I've been very distracted about that goal, it's sad, but a serious goal. Hey, don't judge me people! (haha)

3. How will the visit's to Ashley's group home go? She is a level one now, so she can have guests (I will be her first, how cool is that?). I have to fill out the form tomorrow.

4. I'm seriously considering getting clean... Am I serious? Haha, for that answer and many others, tune in to tomorrow when Lucy describes the lingering problems and annoyances of high school! See ya soon folks!