Thursday, September 18, 2008

Here Comes Your Man

Yay! The ban on my unhappiness was lifted yesterday. Sadly, I was asleep for a good part of it, but it was still a lovely sleep. I'm very happy about life, haha... guess why? I'm kinda worried, as I drove home today after dropping of my friend Nina (a different one than usual) my only thought was I should get high today. Nope... I should wait until saturday and I'm in the city. The city is always so good and it makes everything better... I could like cut my regular dose and just have a small high... I mean, I could cop sooner than I wanted to, this could work if I got high today... I'm not going to though. I have homework that I need to get done before I go into the city. Tanzen and I shall go on another adventure. Now this begs the question: should I be high around Tanzen? Is this a shitty thing to do (around everyone else I wouldn't give a shit, but she actually allows me to talk about anything)? I doesn't really matter, and I know what the answer for me is, no matter how much I don't want to admit it: it frankly doesn't bother me at all. The only other thing is that in the city, while high, you have to walk a lot. Which always is something I'd rather not to do, but whatever, it'll be fun. I just can't be high on the train because I will nod out against the window. I'm kind of excited as always. I love seeing Tanzen and it's always fun.

In other news:
My dad's birthday is tomorrow, so we're going out to dinner. I should probably make him a card or something. I didn't get him anything, he never asks. Anthony and I are also hanging out tomorrow, so I just have to hope that neither encroaches on the other's time. I want to do both, but that's easier said than done. I hope the food is good, that's what I'm mostly thinking about (how horrible... I know).

For my dad's birthday, I'm going to tell a story he told me:
My friend came over to my apartment, this was before you mother and I met. Everything was normal and we were sitting talking. He was sitting on my sofa; he had on a white long sleeved shirt. Slowly I began to notice a red spot on his inner arm slowly get bigger. It kept growing, I asked him, "Did you cut yourself?" He looked at me and didn't say anything. I then immediately told him, "Get out. Leave and don't come back until you're clean." You see, Lucy, I think heroin is the worst drug. I've never done it, or speed for that matter or crack.

Obviously, when I first heard this, my only thought was, "well, that's pleasant." I think it's kind of ironic now. He's always liked to tell me about the drugs he's sold, done, etc.. It used to be entertaining, but mostly I just don't want to hear about it.

Anyway, I've got homework to do and a guitar lesson to go to, so I'll check you guys on the filp side.

BTW, listen to the song "Here Comes Your Man" by The Pixies. I've been listening to it non-stop for like three days... haha. = )

4 comments:

Gledwood said...

I remember at the very end of my old life (the "normal" one) heroin finally coincided with my straight friends. E.g. one saw me snorting it off the table at a friend's house. They couldn't see the powder was brown not white and so believed me when I said the powder was speed...

... another time I did over 3 hours with this couple I knew who were getting married. Right towards the end I went in the toilet and snorted a line of heroin. The guy seemed to notice something was amiss as he seemed slightly grumpy with me after that. Though nobody said ANYTHING (so English)...

Last time we were all together I did have a habit and so had to leave table at restaurant to go in toilet for heroin smoke... then I was upstairs smoking it at the house party afterwards. One of my former best friends knew v well that I was taking drugs, just didn't realize which one

all those friendships faded after that as I turned into a junkie and thought it best just to keep away or I'd only be asking for money all the time

Lucinda said...

I have only once been chased into a bathroom by a good friend of mine, who knew what I was going to do. She was already high, so I didn't really see the harm. I have gotten high at her house, I don't really know why she didn't say anything before that. I've snorted lines off of her coffee table while she was in the shower, munched pills right in front of her, etc..

We're still friends, she now has a "problem" with weed (which has to be the saddest shit I've ever seen because it's not like she's physically addicted, it's all mental). I mean, I get what she's going through when she's pouting in the backseat of my friends car because she doesn't have any drugs, but she needs to learn to suck it up and deal... haha, I'm very empathetic obviously. = )

Tanzen knows everything, the worst thing that I can do to Tanzen is make her worry, which I guess I do on a regular basis. She's also way too nice, I'm really worried that our friendship could put her into a bad position. Especially because whenever I'm out of drugs and complaining about it to her, she's told me before that she'd do whatever I needed to help me. I don't know, it's tempting, ya know, that's the problem. I wish people knew that they can't say that shit because it just sets my mind off.

Melody Lee said...

My dad is so bad with "The moral is" type bullshit. The problem is that as he's telling his war stories, he gets so caught up in his own awesomeness it ends up sounding like a great adventure. HAHA, I guess that shit runs in the family.

Gledwood said...

does she just want to be addicted to something as a lifestyle accessory?

is it true Americans smoke weed "pure" with no tobacco?

(just that, if not, I'd venture to say she might be a nicotine addict. I know that was my true addiction when I was a hash smoker. The bloody tobacco in the joints had me hooked and I didn't even know it!!)