Could this be a country at war?

I laid on my back and rubbed my stomach. The warmth of the old cotton t-shirt I had slept in. I felt like a cat having it's belly rubbed as it lay in a warm spot of sun: content. As I sit up the world begins to move in a weird way and a smile spreads on my face. My mind swims and I want to run through the neighborhood and shout the praises of opiates. I want to scream it to anyone. I feel better, so much better, I think I must be the winner of the world, haha. X plays in my iPod, it's a perfect gray morning. My collarbone itches and itches, I lazily scratch it and I feel amazing. Closing my eyes I feel better. I feel better. I'm reading "7 Tattoos" by Peter Trachtenberg. I love it! I started reading it before I was high, so it's not just the high. It's so good, possibly because we have similar lives or just because it's a fucking excellent book. X continues to serenade me, I'm listening to the album "Hey Zeus!" which is from the early 90s (1993?). I don't think many people know it, but it's very excellent for a gray morning, kind of dark, but good. APPLE kind of reminds me of this album, they have similar sounds. I probably need a shower. I probably need some food. I should fry an egg and make some toast. Suddenly, I'm famished. I bought lucky charms on thursday, I could have some of that too. I should call Anthony later and make sure everything is cool with him, apologize for being annoying. I'm thinking about going over to the festival early on Sunday, like 10 a.m.. He's getting there at 8 a.m. because he's working the radio station's booth. He promised that he would hang out with me for some of that time, I wish he was here. He's so sweet to me. He seemed really happy yesterday, even though we get no time alone (I'm a 17 year old, okay, do you remember being 17? Okay, well, then you understand why we need some time alone, not in school... haha, seriously, though, it's pissing me off) just hanging with him make me happy. We have really ridiculous conversations, we're two good friends if nothing else. I'm so happy, fuck, I wish I could wrap up this feeling of happiness and sip it everyday, just a little. I wish it wasn't chemical, I wish it was just in me, and sometimes it is. In the city it comes out. Walking down the street with the VU playing on my iPod and it's this amazing feeling of contentedness. The city... okay, so here's my biggest problem with the city: me. I have very little experience with dealers, most of the ones I've met have been people I've been friends who were making a little side business, not real dealers. So, to go and have to find one, I mean, I just feel like a dumbass, ya know? It's like I need an instruction manual. I'm good at meeting people and making friends and fitting in fairly well, that's the only good quality that I have in this. Talking to people doesn't bother me, it's more the right people. Fuck, well, I'll just figure it out, I'll eventually meet someone, it's not that hard. Haha, I don't really give a fuck right now. = )

BTW, you need to listen to these two songs: "Baby You Lied" and "Country at War" by X, it's from "Hey Zeus!" They are both excellent songs! = )