Drugs of Youth

"Would you do speed?" We're sitting on Lauren's deck. The sun is shinning it's last rays through the trees surrounding us and it truly feels like we're in the jungle. I'm somewhat surprised that Nina is asking her this. Nina's in Wyoming right now, but she'll be back thursday. She's texting Lauren half way across the country, telling her that she is trying to get speed. Of all the people that I know, Lauren is the last person I would offer any drug  "harder" than acid (not that that's a bad thing). I love Lauren, she's my best friend, but my ways are greatly looked down upon so I'm surprised by her reaction. "I guess, I'll try it at least once." I'm a bit stunned and kind of annoyed. Lauren has a giant fear of needles (one that I've never been able to understand -- you're always going to have to deal with needles: shots, blood drawing, etc. -- it's pointless to be afraid), so that's her first concern. I'm sitting with her explaining speed, I've never done it but I at least know a thing or two about it (haha, I've accrued a lot of useless knowledge in my short life). She's like, "How can you do it?" "Well you can snort it, shoot it, it comes in capsules sometimes, and you can smoke it." "Oh, you can smoke it?" I kind of laughed at her, "You can smoke heroin, too. Just 'cause you can smoke it doesn't mean that you should do it." The thing is that I'm always left out of this kind of dumb shit. Okay, so I wouldn't go out of my way to get speed, but I would at least like to be invited to doing something so dumb. The other thing is that, as far as I know, Nina has no experience with "harder" drugs. I'm kind of worried that she is going to do something that will kill/hurt either her or Lauren. Worse comes to worse, I would at least watch them and make sure they don't do something completely stupid (not that taking speed isn't in itself). I guess I'm kind of curious, I can't deny that. Generally, if I'm presented with an option to get high I take it, just because, "I might as well try it once." I'd like to try speed and if Nina's going to get it, I might as well see if I can get in on that. Partially it's curiosity, partially it's "you guys have no idea what you're getting into." Maybe I'm worrying too much, but maybe Nina isn't thinking straight. Lauren gets suicidal if she's smoked too much sometimes, I feel like speed wouldn't help that. At least Nina has a bit more experience with drugs, so she's more prepared. I feel like I could handle it, but I don't really know. I can't tell if I'm being a good friend, or just someone who wants to get high. My other thought is that Nina is exaggerating. She's been known to say, "yeah, I'm going to get that" and have it never appear. She's promised acid on a few different occasions and ended up getting nothing. Okay, so I'm focusing on a possibility that probably won't happen.

I guess the moral of that story is that I would A) like to be invited to try speed, B) after being invited I would actually like to use the speed, and C) like my friend not to keep doing such dumbshit that make me nervous and dumbshit that I will do.

BTW, I bet earlier that I would get high tonight and I'M NOT! Yay, I owe you 2 million dollars. Haha, I got out of the house and saw Lauren, so I was bit distracted which is always good.

P.S. Can you name who wrote the song "Drugs of Youth"? Just because I want to see if other people know the allusions I'm using in the titles of my posts.