NYC Tonight

The silence is almost deafening. I've always enjoyed being alone at night, the best out of the day. Knowing that I will be left alone for hours and hours is so comforting. I hear crickets outside, as always quietly singing. It reminds me of being a little kid down at the shore, staying in our good friend's house. Late at night, lying in bed, I could always hear the waves, feel the breeze through the open windows, and the laughter emanating from the living room. If there was a time I would like to return to, it would be then. I remember it so clearly, it seems like only a few days have passed.

I have a bandana tied around my head, for some reason that I can't quite figure out. At shows, I always see random people with bandanas tied around their heads, their short mohawks flopping over the front. Boys with bandanas tied around the lower half of their faces, bandits storming into the mosh pit. My mohawk is laying over the side, it's 7" long and gets in my eyes when I put it in front. It's tight on my head. The world is so peaceful right now, I wish I could see it this way forever. My hair smells like the salon, as I pull it into a devil lock (haha, I look so ridiculous).

Tanzen and I have been talking, mostly plotting. She told me that her and Sean, this stoner kid, went with his friend Jack to Prospect Park recently and streaked in the rain at 2 a.m. (this was after they drank waaay too much, haha, Tanzen never knows when to stop). We're discussing prospects for the future, mostly centering around my favorite thing... (you get one guess). Although I've never scored in the city, I'm not too worried about it. My thought is: if you know where most people get it, you can probably get it too. The thing I don't like are the dogs in Penn Station. My friends say that they are probably just bomb sniffing dogs (which is obviously not a problem for me, haha) and I've taken weed through the station before with no problems, I just would hate anything bad to happen there. Tanzen also makes me nervous, she's really naive and excitable, which really isn't a good combination. I don't know, I figure that I might as well, see what I can do, it probably can't hurt to try and find it (haha, or it could turn out badly, but I'm gonna be optimistic and say that I would have to do something pretty fucking dumb to get in a lot of trouble... that being said, some people would consider it completely fucking dumb already). My first thought is: Tompkins! Where junkies come to live (on a bench), and die (ironically, on the same bench). Usually I hang out in Washington Square, which is just basically weed central (my friend Ned gets asked constantly if he wants to buy, the poor straightedge boy is always very confused by the names they say to him). Tompkins is on the LES (for everyone not in the know: Lower East Side). Basically if you walk down St. Marks you run smack into it. It's right over the edge where the West and East side divide. I always enjoy a good romp around the city, the only thing that makes it better: opiates, or the Velvet Underground. I swear on my life that if I walk around listening to the Velvet Underground in the city I get a natural high, it's incredible. I just feel as if I could conquer the world (maybe it's auditory opiates... I can only wish). I'm thinking that we should go try and find the stuff after the show, it gets out at 8 and Ned has to go back to Manhattan anyway, so it will work out. Ned will come with us, and Tanzen can occupy him if he gets in the way. Also, Tanzen really wants to get mushrooms, so she needs to talk to Sean about hooking up with the guy who has them. I don't really want any, mostly because I have a feeling they will be kinda pricey (as is every psychedelic, it seems, but maybe people are just ripping me off).

My head is feeling really strange. I took 150 mg of Lyrica that I found lying around the house (you know, how that is, open a drawer, find a few pills, look them up online, isn't that what everyone does? take them and wait for them to take effect ; ). It's really bizarre, I jsut have a giant headache in the front of my head and I feel really tired. It kinda reminds me of Ambien (when I'm not puking it up, which seems to happen everytime I take it, it's made me vomit marshmallows three times, which, strangely, feels about the same as eating them), everything is moving a little bit. Weird... everyone who talks about taking it uses like 600mg, which is way more than I feel like taking. I was having some severe cravings, which I wasn't really dealing with. I think that when your mind says "TAKE DRUGS NOW!" and then you say "maybe later," it just expects you to take some kind of drugs in the next few hours. I waited and waited and waited for it to go away, but it just wouldn't... so I took some drugs. This shit is really similar to Ambien, which makes me a bit wary.

I should be looking up the new pair of Vans I want. I have this pair that I got for Christmas (my mother always buys me a new pair of Vans for Christmas, it is now tradition), which I have worn almost every day. Each has holes in the big toe area, so she says I look homeless, so I have to get some new shoes. There were Circle Jerks Vans that I wanted, but they're not online anymore. How sick would that be? The cute little skanking boy on the top of your feet? Now those would be some sick shoes. They have Germs ones, but I don't like the Germs as much as the Circle Jerks. They also have Johnny Ramone... but I don't know if I really would wear shoes with him on it.  At the moment, I've been wearing my Docs every chance that I get, I love them sooooo much! Haha, for some reason, having boots makes me feel like a super hero. 

I would now like to tell the shop.vans.com to go and fuck itself. It's so hard to use. I just want to look at their "classic slip ons" and it's being all dumb. And I'm having a whole lot of trouble moving around now. Hmmm... Lyrica is really fucking with me, but it's kinda entertaining.

Well, I guess I'll report more later... or in the morning... whenever I wake up. = )

(BTW, if you don't know it, you should look up the song = NYC Tonight by GG Allin, because it is quite good, I've only heard other people cover it, but I love the song = )