Ludlow St. and Beat My Guest

The men on the screen are running in slow motion. Slowly their faces contort in ecstasy or defeat, human emotions have slowed to a crawl. It's 11:54 p.m. on sunday night, August 17th. I looked at one of my old journals last month and I found the entry documenting my first experience with opiates. Haha, which basically boiled down to me puking and my father standing in the doorway asking if I was alright. Slowly I watched as my posts degenerated into me speaking about not giving a shit anymore, it's weird; the human emotions again are slowed to a crawl. I'm thinking that I'll send my self off to an opiate fuzz tomorrow possibly. The city is always better high. Those classic scenes become more classic, more epic. You feel yourself and the city become one. The village is like my home away from home, I watch the faces change skipping from person to person. The tourists are ugly and fat, walking slowly, staring at maps, but the true New Yorkers hold a beauty for me. It's like seeing long lost family, the resemblance is suddenly apparent, one which you had never been aware of before. I'm excited for the show, some good old loud and fast punk. My friend Lauren shall be a bit disturbed, I like taking her to punk shows, mostly because she listens to so much folky-indie-noise stuff. Some of it I don't really mind, but some of it I hate. We're going to see Dr. Dog next Tuesday after I get home from college visits, so that should be interesting. I like Dr. Dog, but it will mean probably a lot of hipsters, which is never a good thing. I hate hipsters. They pollute all that the city stands for, they are true trash. I want to grab them by the face and run their teeth along the curb. Hipsters come to shows to be cool, to pretend. Sure, maybe all of us are pretending to some extent in life, but their lives are facades erected and buffed into little "pseudo-intellectual" pieces of shit. I'm psyched for the show though, I have almost no money. My parents gave me $25, which will cover my train ticket and metrocard, and half the ticket. It's $10, which isn't bad but isn't great. I really can't wait for that Reagan Youth show in september, that will be fucking fun. That's only $8 and starts at 4 and is on a saturday, which means that it is perfect.

I'm reading Ecstasy by Irvine Welsh, which is pretty good. I really like Irvine Welsh, definitely one of my favorite authors. I'm on the third short story on the collection. Obviously, they all have someone taking ecstasy in them, something which I never have any desire to do. Ecstasy has never had any appeal for me, even when offered it by friends I've always figured it was a waste of money. I prefer when he writes about heroin, but what can I say, Trainspotting is one of my favorite books ever. However, if you want to read a good book about heroin, Tales from the Geronimo by Scott Frank is my personal favorite of all time. It's hard to come by, I bought it in a used book store a few years ago, but if you can find it definitely read it. It's to the point where whenever I'm high and in need of some reading I open it up. You could probably recite a passage and I could tell you exactly where he was and what he was doing it. It's an auto-biography which is a nice quality. I wrote a book report it for one of my English classes, haha, my cover art was a needle full of blood spraying it out into a nice pool. It's ironic when people would ask me why I wrote about this kind of shit, and I would just let it kind of roll around in my mind and give some dumb answer. I think it's funny, people questioning me about it and getting to lie.

Anyway, I'm feeling pretty good about life. I seriously shouldn't complain, things are going okay, as long as I focus and don't fuck up anything too badly I should be okay for a few more months. I have to keep a low profile around my parents, I'm getting careless, which will only end up badly.

So, I'm posting two videos, the first one is of a Blackout Shoppers performance. The first song they perform is my favorite of theirs, I love it. The next video is the song "Beat My Guest" by Adam and the Ants, which is just so catchy. I was wandering around the house signing There's so much happiness behind these tears, yeah BEAT ME, BEAT ME OHD OHD OH-ohoh.... Watch both and be entertained for a few more minutes.