Nervous Breakdown

I can't focus at all right now. Every time I try to focus on Kant's categorical imperative or why it has to be a universal law or why the hypothetical law can't be moral, I just think about all this other stuff. I'm watching Made. This whiny little 15 year old girl is trying to become a skateboarder, and she won't stop her mother from controlling her. It's really scary to think that people can be controlled like this and how her mother can't see it. Luckily, the girl finally told her mother. I don't know why I'm  watching this dribble, but it's not helping me focus.

Anthony broke his toe today, so we couldn't go out like we planned. I haven't seen him in like 3 weeks and it's driving me nuts. Of course he would break his toe today, haha, that's so not surprising.

With all of these thoughts crowding my brain I want to take some bleach and just wash it clean. This is not helping me at all. If I could I would just stop thinking entirely because with thoughts comes ideas. And with ideas comes actions. So, if I keep thinking I'm going to do something and be pissed at my self later.

I think I'm going to make myself some soup. By putting food into my body it will A) take up my time, B) take up my action, and C) make me feel better. I'm replacing drugs with food, which really isn't going to happen. I'll bet you a million bucks that by 8 I'm high. Make it 2 million. I shouldn't be thinking this way, but that's how I feel.

Even all of this shit is going on, I'm not in such a bad mood. I'll eat some soup, I'll watch some tv, and I'll write  some more philosophy... oh joy!