Rudie Can't Fail

I've been listening to the Clash all day. If you wanna know a few songs I really like, if you don't know the Clash that well, check out: "Rudie Can't Fail," "Hateful," "Lost in the Supermarket," "Clash City Rockers," and "SPANISH BOMBS." I love Spanish Bombs, when we were in middle school, Nina would always sing, haha. = )

I was gonna go to that show last night, but on Friday my Papa texted me telling me that it was 18+ and Keith told me. Haha, and then I complained to Justin about it. It was an interesting hour of conversations to say the least, but Justin and Jay cheered me up. = )

Anyway, on Saturday I hung with Lauren, who thought she was on her death bed due to her terrible sinus infection. We watched random ass shit on TV, and then some Flight of the Conchords (which is one of my favorite shows, but I can only watch it on youtube because I don't have HBO = (. Her parents made seafood and steak to celebrate her dad's promotion, which is really good for her family, and so it was a really good meal. Obviously, haha, we had a very romantic dinner. Zack took me out on thursday, and I think I'm going to bake him a cake as his present for V-day.

Then on Sunday I travelled into Brooklyn, and mass-transit was working fairly well, which made me happy. Santina was going to hang with us, but then couldn't because her mom wouldn't let her. Tanzen and I met up and she gave me a Valentine, it had this little card which said, "You know that I will love you no matter what you do. Just make your choices wisely and to yourself be true! I love you!" I just feel guilty for making her worry and shit. I don't know, I feel guilt for telling people shit, I know people care, even when I feel like a mediocre shit head, people give a fuck about me. Thats a good thing because I've realized that a lot of my issues are due to my fucked up relationship with my dad. I've realized that my distance from him in my childhood due to his work in China and in CA has made me hate him in some ways, because when he came back and wanted to be my dad it just didn't make any sense. I love him, I just wish he could be more like he was when I was a kid and not some crazed old man, who I hate.

It was just me, Tanzen, and her sis. No one else was around so we got a wee-bit drunk, and watched Empire Records and then we walked around their neighborhood in search of coffee. It was fun we played this card game called "haberdashy" (no not a men's hat shop). It's like gin-rummy without having to take turns, so its a lot faster and so much fun. We gave each other nicknames, I was "Rebel" because of my cliched can-throw onto a lawn we passed. Tanzen's sis said to me, "Oh, RAGE AGAINST THE MACHINE." Haha, and so we all laughed about it, "I was like, oh yeah, that's how I role. Yeah, I'm not even gonna pick it up." We all joke about me and my "hardcoreness" because I prefer not to fight with my parents and I get good grades and shit like that. I mean, I'm a good kid, with a few flaws, haha, and people think its funny that I am a "punk." The next day we woke up and wanted to go to Voxpop, our favorite coffee shop. It's an awesome place! It's where I got my anarchist calendar there last year, haha (now think about THAT). But, its not serving food due to some trouble with the city of NYC, so we went to this other place. Not as good, but cheap, and we found a table to eat and play cards at.

Right now, my fellow GB Crew member and I, Hughie are discussing plans for the weekend, crew t-shirts, and his band. I'm thinking that his band might play my b-day show, because I'd love it, and it'd make me happy. They said that I could make their shirts for them, which is awesome to me. I made our crew's t-shirts, I drew the stencil, and we're all going to have one.

I know it's pretty sexy across my "lovely rack" with my classy flannel. At the moment I'm wearing that flannel with obnoxious new plaid pants.

At the moment I am also talking to my friend Nina (not the one pictured) about her ex who just called and said he has HPV, and that she gave it to him, or he gave it to her, or something. She apparently came back clean last time she was tested, but she'll probably get tested again, which is good. I worry about her, she's one of my dearest friends, and someone I've been good friends with since we were 11. Nina and I are fucked up in different ways, she was diagnosed with nymphomania after being raped at 15. She went to therapy and is now doing really well, and is basically cured, which is great! She's a lot happier now I think. She's dealing now, which kind of makes me sad, but its alright I guess. I tell people to buy from her and stuff, I don't know, I just try to be helpful. She almost had someone come to my street and buy from her tonight, and I told her absolutely not. I don't know, but that's invading my space, and its one thing to do it with my friends outside my house, if they were already here hanging, but some random girl who is only an acquaintance of mine is a definite NO. Lauren was trying to goad me into saying it was okay, but I stood my ground and Nina was cool with it. Her, Lauren, and Sam came over tonight and we played cards and watched clips of Maury on youtube. I have to post this one video it was AMAZING.

I'm wathing intervention and talking to people online. It's almost too entertaining for my drug addled brain. After this I'll probably read some blogs, do some sudoku, play some guitar, and then maybe around 3 or so I'll go to sleep. I like fighting sleep, haha, it makes me happy.

With my new darker hair, I wanna try new makeup, haha. I put on mixed lilac, teal, and dark blue eyeshadow together, which made my features darker. I kinda like it. I also brought some new red lipstick, because I'm so pale and now have dark hair, the combination with dark makeup kinda looks really good. Haha, I don't know, I love trying new makeup, it's entertaining.

= )

Well, guys, I love you all!

I hope you had a fabulous weekend!

Love, 

- Lucy