I'm Too Good For You

WARNING: I'm about to go on the nod, so any delusions of grandeur that I may display in this post are chemically fueled, but some of them are probably totally true. = )

So, there is so much boy news I barely know where to begin...

For starters, I will say this: I'm not the greatest looking girl - I'm pretty average - but I swear, there is something about me that must make up for that fact, because I have so many options right now... it's almost ridiculous. = ) I'm going to list each boy by there name:

J - Okay, so I've been obsessing over him aaaaaaall week, and it's disturbing. I've decided to not talk to him until he texts or IMs me because I don't want to be ridiculously creepy. He's a hot, Jewish, 21 year old, skinhead... and no, I can't help myself, he's adorable and smart and funny and.... But, here's the thing, it all makes me nervous. I'm worried that it's either A) a joke or B) him trying to get into my pants. I hope that it's serious, I really like him, I don't want a serious boyfriend, but I'd like one who could take me out sometime or go to a show with me or someone that I could tend to their wounds after a fight... Anyway, it's a large predicament. We've been texting and IMing a lot, and there are a lot of signs that say he likes me but, older boys make me nervous. Out of all the guys, he is my goal. = )

Anthony - I broke up with him. It's been really weird because we still kind of act like we're dating. We see each other and give each other hugs, and stuff. I kind of miss him, I hope he can change so that we can date again. I'm just not going to be made into his last priority, no matter how much I like him. It's just not fair to me, and I can date guys who would give me more attention.

Zack - He's my BFFF... Haha, we've been chilling a lot and being idiots. We drove around and stole all of these Palin/McCain signs before the election. He also is slowly liking punk more and more. I already told him that he's going to prom with me = ). 

Here's our playlist for the car:

1. Broken Bones - The Freeze

2. I Hate Tourists - The Freeze

3. We're Not the Abnormal Ones - The Freeze

4. I'm Too Good For You - The Freeze

5. John Wayne Was a Nazi - MDC

6. Dick For Brains - MDC

7. I Hate Work - MDC

8. Slut - Charged G.B.H.

9. Spinal Remains - Misfits

10. Bullet - Misfits

11. Beat My Guest - Adam and the Ants

12. Mr. Right - Mickey Avalon

13. Jane Fonda - Mickey Avalon

Dillion - Dillion is an awesome guy, who I could definitely see myself with. He's in my statistics class and he's just so sweet. He's really like a big teddy bear and he listens to me complain and discuss all this shit in my life. I really like him, and I think he likes me... = )

Okay, so I guess what I'm saying is that I think I'm attractive... What the hell? I'm kind of surprised, ya know? That sounds conceited, but I don't mean physically, I mean mostly personality wise. It kind of makes me laugh because I mean think about this: I'm a nerdy girl, with glasses, a mohawk, doc martens, who goes to punk shows, with arthritis, who writes creepy dirty poetry, who likes the drugs a bit too much... AND I STILL GET THE MEN??? I have decided that I don't understand men at all, and I mostly don't trust them. My goal, being the angelic virgin that I am (that's actually true), is that when I do start having sex that I become really good at it. I feel like then I'd be the person that I want to be, I want to be this awesome girl, who goes to shows and all the people and bands know her, who can date most people she wants, who doesn't care what other people think, and who is great in bed... Haha, not that I'm going to get all of those things, but it would be nice. I just want a boy, whose cute, and funny, and smart, and a punk/skinhead... is that so hard to get?

Anyway, I haven't posted in like 5 days, so I'll catch you guys up on stuff besides the men... = )

So, my grades in school are amazingly stellar!

Stat = A

Environmental Science AP = A- (92)

Latin AP = A- (92)

English AP = B

Health/Gym = A

European History AP = B

I'm sure you're all very proud of me, just kidding... I don't know, it's funny but a lot of adults I know give me more props for my grades than my parents. If you would like to tell me how proud you are, feel free to do so, haha, everyone makes me feel like a shit head most of the time so it's nice to prove them wrong.

I have been procrastinating so much lately, it's ridiculous. I've been doing my homework marginally, I haven't even started studying for the SAT IIs in December, and I have barely made head way on my supplements for college (though I've finished the apps and teacher recommendation stuff). I don't know, maybe I don't deserve props, but whatever.

I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping lately, like 4 hours of sleep for the past 5 or 6 nights. So, my decision to get high right now probably wasn't the best, but whatever. I should be doing homework, but I'll start sometime today... If I don't fall asleep, fuck, this just came on so strong. I think I should shower and try and see if that will keep me awake. I'm really hungry now too.

Anyway, I'll be gone tomorrow cause I'm going to a show in Queens, and then spending the night in Brooklyn. But, I'll leave you with a poem I just wrote:

Respect (or at least, that's what I'll call it for now = )

God made men to be sexy for me
To laugh and joke and talk with me.
But sometimes I worry they are looking for more
Which might make me seem like a whore.

I like this skinhead you see
He’s quite attractive and fond of me.
But he makes me nervous about some things
Because with age experience brings.

I maybe young and quite a treat
But don’t expect me to lick your meat.
I’m not a skank or tramp or whore
I’m someone that must be adored.

I’m not saying that I’m a prude
I’m just saying you best not be rude.
I like boys and men of all shapes and any size
But I prefer to keep them out from between my thighs.

Anyway, I hope you've all been great. I've been wondering about you guys. I hope your week and now your weekend will be great. = )

BTW, Melody is definitely the coolest person on here, no offense to everyone else... if you don't read her blog already, you def should. Haha, one day, I want to be as awesome as her. = )