It's now 11:24 and I have tea and chocolate rice crispies... yeah. The smell of weed is climbing from the concierge below me and through the cracks beneath my window. Smells pretty good. I wouldn't mind a hit. Perhaps. I'm very weird about weed, not much of a fan in general. I started snorting percocet at the same time my best friend (and in turn, me) started smoking weed, and I didn't get it. I just didn't understand why you would want to have such a shitty high. Didn't make any sense to me, still kind of doesn't. But, I still enjoy it occasionally, as long as I don't smoke too much because I have a tendency to get burnt out--which always feels to me like someone is just squeezing my skull until it's supposed to pop and that the world is way too much for me to even understand, and usually I just try and sleep it off. It reminds me of how it used to be when I would take vicodin all through out the week and then not do it on the weekends. I would just get super intense headaches, and at first I didn't connect the two.... because I was a retarded 16 year old.
Anyway, it's now 11:46 and I have to work on this paper showing Jim Carroll "my Paris." I've decided that I might as well take a little to get me in the right mindset. Haha, or something like that. Something incredibly false. I don't know, I'm doing the math... as per my usual neuroses. 3 codoliprane = 60 mg/30 = 2 pills of 5mg of hydro. Isn't that beautiful? I did place out of college math, guys, I'm obviously a true winner.
12:03... my friends just got back from Barcelona and Rome. And apparently, I'm going to go get sushi tonight. It's expensive, but I didn't buy any chicken at the grocery store because it was all expired already. I have 20 euros in cash... so... yeah. Fuck, I need to refill my navigo today, so that I don't have to wait online on Monday. A Navigo is like a metro pass, you buy a month or two weeks, and whatever zones in Paris/the banlieurs you travel through. I only have to buy two weeks because in two weeks I will be home! Home and free and probably asleep, since it will be around 6 am. Mike will hopefully be there, also hopefully asleep, he usually doesn't sleep very easily, besides when I'm around or when he's high. And we need to avoid that last part, haha...
Fuck, okay, I'm going to start this paper and not go back to sleep, which is what I did yesterday, but that was because I was upset. If I get upset, I can make myself go to sleep, and so that's what I do and pretend that it's not going on.
Check ya guys later!
- Lucy
ADDENDUM:
2:13 pm... my friend got back from Amsterdam yesterday and brought back weed. I love having friends who will trade drugs for hanging out.
6 comments:
I used to really like the smell of weed... but I've long hated the effect. It just does not agree with me ~ like schizophrenia crossed with Alzheimers. Not pretty! Now I don't even like the smell... it reminds me of the lifts in what you as an American would probably call a housing project but I would call a council block (ie local-authority-owned housing)... of course the reason for this is that I was hanging around on the stairwells for hours at a time (I wonder how many days of my life I've lost doing that)... waiting for dealers to trouble to show up. That's pretty much the smell of a London heroin dealer ~ apple air freshener in their cars and lots and lots of weed!
Sometimes I even find stray flecks of it in my gear ...
Haha, yeah, I think that's a good description of what happens to me as well. I have no idea what's going on and can't remember anything, also my vision can get really fucked up, which freaks me out. Weed, good weed, makes me go a bit insane.
Yeah, Mike kind of replaces weed for h, which I don't know, obviously, I'm glad that he's not doing h (or at least not all the time...yeah), but I don't like that he's high on weed constantly either. Like, both are unpleasant to be around, just one more so than the other. It's mostly annoying because it means that when we hang out he's always smoking, and so I end up smoking a lot too. When he was here, he would go like every three or five days and buy hash from the dealer downstairs in my building, it was kind of annoying, because if it's there I'm gonna smoke, but if it's not then I won't...
This is super rambling, I just got home from school, haha, so my brain is a little bit crushed.
Hi, I would like to follow your blog. Hope that is ok with you. Your posts are genuine and interesting for me.
Hi, I returned to your blog because as I was reviewing my profile, I noticed that I had placed you on my "blogs to follow" list. I was wondering if you had posted anything new. I enjoyed reading your old post again, and then I remembered why I selected your blog to follow. I am 55 years old now, and for 2 years previous, I had a serious percocet addiction.
And from what I gather, you gals and guys are fairly young. And this is definitely not a lecture from some old man telling you "don't do drugs". And I don't want to break into your inner circle. But I thought I might tell you that I never snorted percocet (can't even imagine that), but I could not function unless I was equipped with at least200 - 10/325 pill per month. A day without me pills brought some intense withdrawals. I can honestly say , though, that if I had enough money and enough availability, I would still be fueling my days with perc. So as not to bore you any longer, I will conclude with.... I had to find a way to stop spending all my money on perc, combined with crawling up in a ball for days on the couch, and obtained this new pill (probably not new anymore) called suboxone, to ease me off the percocet. Suboxone is almost as expensive, since a DEA # is needed and the docs use that to crank up their visit fee ($200)and the pill is more expensive than perc. The moral of this comment (even though there isn't one), is that even though I take suboxone to ease me off of percocet, I still get the same crappy withdrawals when I run out of suboxone, without the nice powerful kick I used to get from percocet. Sorry for the long comment.
Beautiful blog, so many hidden depths...
@ Bernie
Don't worry about it. I very rarely do drugs anymore. Which, is something I should be blogging about, so much shit has been going on for the past almost two months, that I just haven't sat down and done it. But I will. Even if it is lecturey, it's a good thing to tell people if it'll save them the pain in the future.
@ Imperia
Why thank you.
Post a Comment